the glass is half full tonight

i'm not quite certain where i'm going with this one, so bear with me.

it's been almost a month since my last post. i just didn't feel like sharing anything.

i had a somewhat strange experience tonight that could be a sign of how bad this quarter could be. it reminded me of how crappy last winter quarter was. then i remembered how spring really wasn't much better, but for entirely different reasons. then summer... ugh. i feel like i barely scraped by in the fall quarter, so i was thinking that last fall was my only good quarter. then i remembered telling a story (today! even!) about a class i had last fall that had me on the phone with my dad before class for 2 weeks straight, just trying to make myself GO to this terrible class.

i'm such a pessimist. i thrive on being critical and creating drama out of just-barely-not-good situations. it really is strange.

so, starting with the fall of 2008, i will remember the good:
fall 2008: came to a great school, had a really neat learning experience in the class i cried repeatedly about, found a great group of friends in a unique church, and took one of the quintessential classes of my program that i LOVED.

winter 2009: took the other quintessential class that changed the way i think; learned that photography can be worship; and met God in ways i didn't think were possible given my circumstances.

spring 2009: didn't die. no wait, ok, i did the best academically this quarter than any other, and learned some good lessons along the way. in the break between winter and spring, i organized a camping trip in which no one died, too, tho i was tempted to leave a dog to die, and one guy on the trip felt like he was dying with kidney stones.

summer 2009: hosted some friends and family, took a couple trips to see friends and family, and learned my academic limits. i also experienced one of those bottoming out experiences in which i KNOW my life can only be in control of a good Father, cos i'm certainly not in control of it! the best part of summer was that it ended.

fall 2009: regained some traction in my academic capabilities, started volunteering, and had a fun Christmas break with my family.

so what will winter 2010 hold? time will only tell.