heck yeah...

create your own visited states map

yeah, baby...



create your own visited countries map

and this doesn't count a layover in new zealand... ;-)

i hate winter

i hate the cold. i have been used to and loving the early spring of Oklahoma (barring the next few days, when they might see some snow or other frozen precip) for 3 of the past 4 springs. the one other spring was actually autumn for me... yeah, i studied abroad in australia that time frame (feb-july) so i missed spring altogether and experienced 3 autums in a row! i really miss the oklahoma weather, the first storm of the season, the first chase of the season, the 80 degree days mixed in between the ice storms. here, it is colder longer, thanks to that pond also known as the atlantic ocean. due to the higher specific heat of water than land or air, it stays cool longer and affects our weather here. granted, it delays our autumn and winter, but it also delays our spring and summer! which i don't like at all!! so that is my rant for the evening. i want spring to come! i'm sick of the cold! it's march, for crying out loud, lets get some warmth!!!!

freedom!

Man, I am feeling so much freedom right now. I have felt so trapped where I am for a while - living with my parents, not knowing what is next, substitute teaching with no end in sight, just feeling like life is on hold in general.

But then I talked to a friend. I told her of a few ideas I had, but wasn't sure about. And she said she had been thinking the same thing, for a few of the same reasons as I had. That just brought so much freedom to explore these other options! I don't know if I am limited by God or by false loyalty to things that I need to just say goodbye to, but I feel much better now. I now feel like I can pursue these options without guilt, knowing that I don't have to commit to anything right now, and I still have to follow God's voice the whole way, whether I stay with my current situation or move on to other things.

I know this is kind of cryptic, so you can email me if you want more specifics. Not everyone will be glad to hear of my possible changes, so I didn't want to just broadcast them to the whole world.

On another note, some hope was released into my heart. I have been feeling like "why do I have to be here?" As I mentioned before, I feel pretty much stuck here. So a friend compared my experience to Joseph, when he was in jail before being elevated to 2nd in command of Egypt. Not that I will ever be 2nd in command of Egypt, but Joseph was given a vision of his brothers bowing down to him, it was essentially killed while he was in jail, and then God re-instated the vision, better than Joseph ever could have imagined later on. In a similar way, I was given a dream for India, and it has to die before God can do with it what He wants, and He will be glorified much more through it later. My question this past week has been "Why did Joseph have to be in jail?" This is a valid question, to some extent, but the real question is, "Why do I have to wait so long?"

I didn't get a whole answer to this, but I do feel like God spoke to my heart, reassuring me that He is still in control and He does have a reason for this "postponement" of my dream to go to India. The part of an answer that I did get had more to do with me not seeing the whole picture. I often think I have everything figured out, but I really only see a small fraction of the whole story of this (or any) situation. The encouragement came to me as I saw an opening for a teacher at a private school in India. For a while, I thought this might be the reason I was in this "holding pattern" for the past few months... this option wasn't known to me 2 months ago, so I couldn't have pursued it then, but I can now. I just had to wait for it. After looking at the website, I now realize that this probably isn't going to work out for me, but just the idea of it was a great reminder that I cannot see every option of the future. There may be some other opportunity that presents itself 7 months from now that I just have to wait for. All this waiting is not in vain. And that brings me hope!

The Coffeehouse

The Coffeehouse

This is the young adult ministry I am involved in as a part of Kempsville Presbyterian Church. Fun stuff!!

man, party shuffle is kicking my butt today...

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself
Lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened

-Switchfoot
Today never happened before

It’s coming round again
The slowly creeping hand
Of time and it’s command
Soon enough it comes
And settles in it’s place
Its shadow in my face
Puts pressure in my day

This life well it’s slipping right through my hands
These days turned out nothing like I had planned

It’s coming round again
The slowly creeping hand
Of time and it’s demands
It settles in it’s place
Its shadow in my face
Undignified and lame

This life well it’s slipping right through my hands
These days turned out nothing like I had planned
Control well it’s slipping right through my hands
These days turned out nothing like I had planned

Soon enough it comes
Soon enough it comes
To tie us down

-Powderfinger

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

-Coldplay

sometimes, i just want to scream.

but mostly, i just want to cry.

congrats!!!

My sister Michelle is now engaged to Lee!! Congratulations to the happy couple! Woohoo!

Clayton and Dustin were married last weekend. The pics look amazing, and I am so excited for them.

Barrett and Muna are now engaged, as well! I can see the joy on both of their faces.

Aaron presented his Master's thesis today. Congrats on a job well done!

In other news, I had a slight alteration to my face yesterday, with Mary and Suzanne as willing accomplices. Check out my photo on facebook if you're interested... :-D

ok, i'm a copycat

In following the lead of others again, here is a list of the top places I shoud live, according to the man in my computer (www.findyourspot.com):

1. Charleston, SC
2. Jacksonville, FL
3. Ocala, FL
4. Jackson, MS
5. Athens, GA
6. Greenville, SC
7. Gainesville, FL
8. Tallahassee, FL
9. Tuscaloosa, AL
10. Hickory, NC
11. Bryan-College Station, TX
12. Houston, TX
13. Orlando, FL
14. Chattanooga, TN
15. West Palm Beach, FL
16. Tulsa, OK
...
24. Chesapeake- Virginia Beach, VA

As you can see, my actual hometown and current place of residence was last on this list. At least it made the list at all. I think the first place on this list that I would actually really like to live would be College Station. Or perhaps Ocala. Hmmmm. Food for thought.

On a more personal note, this past week has been really difficult for me. Please pray for my sanity, clarity of thought, contentment, and willingness to submit to Jesus. Thanks.

just for fun

so no one "tagged" me, but I thought it might be fun to play, anyway:

4 books I am reading:
1. Isaiah
2. The Sacred Romance
3. A Cat Abroad, Peter Gethers - true story of a travelling cat and his owner
4. A Severe Mercy, Sheldon Van Auken
and I just finished Under the Tuscan Sun

4 things I am learning:
1. how to manipulate high school students to get them to behave
2. that if I try to take life at more than a week at a time, I will be so so depressed
3. how to work on a team from 1400 miles away
4. that my heart is much weaker than I thought it was

4 celebrities I would go on a date with:
1. JJ Redick
2. Prince William
3. Heath Ledger
4. Paul Bettany
(can you tell I have a thing for accents?)

4 jobs I would like in the future:
1. I don't ever want a normal job
2. but if I did, perhaps a university study abroad coordinator
3. travel agent
4. would a spot on The Amazing Race count?

4 clothing articles I always pack for a trip:
1. underwear
2. jeans
3. t-shirt
4. hair rubber band

4 favorite drinks:
1. Diet Dr. Pepper
2. Dr. Pepper
3. anything Starbucks with a lot of chocolate and sugar
4. a tie between cream soda and Sonic cherry-limeade slush

4 people that make me laugh:
1. Kevin Watson
2. Josh Horton
3. Travis Rakes
4. Jim Southard

4 tags:
1. I don't know if anyone actually reads this, so this is pointless.

so, there you have it, a slight glimpse into my (relatively dull) life.

is He enough?

Is He? Is Jesus enough for my life? This is the question plaguing my heart and mind this evening. I find myself this week feeling depressed. But I think really, I am deeply lonely. My life right now is nothing what my "glory" years were like out in Oklahoma. There, I used to see friends on a daily basis, hang out with them in class, between classes, after class. Now, I see my parents. If I'm lucky, I'll get a phone call or voice mail or email from a friend somewhere else. I get to see my VB friends on Friday nights, and occasionally on a Saturday afternoon. I go to Barrett's house on Wed eves to watch LOST, which I love, but honestly, I couldn't care less about the TV show. Tuesday nights I've started to go to Murphy's for trivia night with the Hamakers, but I can't really say they are my close friends, they just keep me from going entirely insane. On Sundays at church, I don't usually see my friends who go there. It's just such a huge church it is rare that I run into them, and I don't really know where to look for them, and even if I did, most of them are talking to someone else already, that they don't get to see any other time of the week, and I at least get to see them on Friday nights.

SO, it may seem that I do get to see my friends quite often, especially compared with how often I'll get to see any of them once I'm on the other side of the world. Which makes me think that God is using this time to prepare me, to teach me how to be His friend, so that He will be my friend, my lover. Which brings me back to the original question: Is Jesus enough? Can Jesus really be my best friend? And what in the world does this look like? How does it happen?

Come near, my God. Come close.

forgetfulness

My, oh my how easy it is to forget that my life extends beyond just today. It is so easy to go to work, come home, goof around, eat dinner, watch TV, and go to bed after reading a bit. In doing so, I forget that life has purpose, that my life has purpose. I forget my long range goals, to move to the other end of the world, to make my life count in the light of eternity. Not that my life doesn't have purpose where I am here, but substitute teaching is not the entire purpose of my life.