ok, i have seen this a few places, and i want to procrastinate even more, so here goes:
The Soundtrack of my life:
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool
Opening Credits: Single, Natasha Bedingfield
Waking Up: Food For Thought - UB40
First Day At School: Light In the Dark - A Few Young Fischermen
Falling In Love: Erosion - Switchfoot
Fight Song: Why Do I Feel So Sad - Alicia Keys
Breaking Up: Hound Dog - Elvis Presley
Prom: Out Of Bounds - Bon Jovi
Life's OK: This Was Good - Rita Springer
Mental Breakdown: Raga One: Alap & Jod - Ravi Shankar
Driving: Gifted Response (We Will Worship You) - Matt Redman
Flashback: Walking Away - Lifehouse
Getting Back Together: The Way You Do the Things You Do - UB40 (i didn't even realize i had this much UB40 on my ipod!)
Wedding: Micah 6:8 - Charlie Hall
Birth of Child: Beautiful - Bethany Dillon. Wow.
Final Battle: Tomorrow Belongs to Us - The Casualties
Death Scene: Si Te Vas - Shakira
Funeral Song: Ordinary - Train
End Credits: Blue Christmas - Brenda Lee
hmmm. interesting. some of them seem accurate, at least. but still kinda fun.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I will not live my life in between anymore
Artist: Smalltown Poets
Album: Listen Closely
Track: Hold It Up To The Light
It's the choice of a lifetime & I'm almost sure
I will not live my life in between anymore
If I can't be certain of all that's in store
This far it feels so right
I will hold it up hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light
The search for my future has brought me here
This is more than I'd hoped for, but sometimes I fear
That the choice I was made for will someday appear
And I'll be too late for that flight
So hold it up hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light
I said God, will you bless this decision?
I'm scared. Is my life at stake?
But I know if you gave me a vision
Would I never have reason to use my faith?
Now as soon as I'm moving my choice is good
This way comes through right where I prayed that it would
If I keep my eyes open and look where I should
Somehow all of the signs are in sight
If I hold up the light
It's too late to be stopped at the crossroads
Each life here and each a possible way
But wait and they all will be lost roads
Each path's growing shorter the longer I stay
I was dead with deciding and afraid to choose
I was mourning the loss of the choices I'd lose
But there's no choice at all if I don't make my move
And trust that the timing is right
I will hold it up hold it up to the light
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light.
Album: Listen Closely
Track: Hold It Up To The Light
It's the choice of a lifetime & I'm almost sure
I will not live my life in between anymore
If I can't be certain of all that's in store
This far it feels so right
I will hold it up hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light
The search for my future has brought me here
This is more than I'd hoped for, but sometimes I fear
That the choice I was made for will someday appear
And I'll be too late for that flight
So hold it up hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light
I said God, will you bless this decision?
I'm scared. Is my life at stake?
But I know if you gave me a vision
Would I never have reason to use my faith?
Now as soon as I'm moving my choice is good
This way comes through right where I prayed that it would
If I keep my eyes open and look where I should
Somehow all of the signs are in sight
If I hold up the light
It's too late to be stopped at the crossroads
Each life here and each a possible way
But wait and they all will be lost roads
Each path's growing shorter the longer I stay
I was dead with deciding and afraid to choose
I was mourning the loss of the choices I'd lose
But there's no choice at all if I don't make my move
And trust that the timing is right
I will hold it up hold it up to the light
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light.
Monday, November 27, 2006
a thousand thoughts and a million emotions
um, i don't really know where to start or what to say, except that man, God is good.
i've had a few AMAZING conversations in the past week; they kind of shake up the world i thought i was living in, a bit. i realize i interact with people differently than i thought i did, i realize a few relationships are different than i thought they were. i realize i can stay out/up later than i thought and still exist (i got too much sleep in college and missed out on a lot of fun). i am ready to "move on" in my life and say goodbye to this chapter, but i am so scared that i will repeat it for another year, or more. i do realize that i have no idea what God has in store for my future, really, even if i think i do.
i applied for 2 jobs recently - one stateside, in one of 6 locations (DC, atlanta, norman, eugene OR, houston, east lansing MI), the other overseas (location not yet determined). i think i would LOVE either one, and i really really really hope to be offered at least one of them. if i get offered both, i'm not really sure which i would pick. but, oh God, please don't make me stay in VB.
on the other side of that, i am enjoying my relationship with my parents and the depths of relationship i am finally enjoying with my friends here. but i am also certain they are the kinds of friendships that will stay with me for a long time, no matter what continent i'm on. which is a good thing, since i hope to be on other continents within the next few years, even if the 2nd job doesn't come thru.
for the last week or so, i have felt "wrapped in grace". i'm not really sure i can describe that feeling, except to say it is a kind of culmination, or perhaps conglomeration, of a lot of different thoughts and experiences and lessons for a few years now. but let me tell you, it is one of the most secure feelings, despite circumstances and despite people (we all suck, sometimes, even when we don't mean to). i am so SO thankful to God for a number of things - things that He kept me out of and safe from when i couldn't understand why i wasn't "being let in on" them or when my own legalism and self-righteousness/superiority kept me away. i am thankful for some of the hardest seasons, when God proved to me, in the end (or more likely i couldn't see it until the end), His goodness, faithfulness and love for me. i am thankful that my relationship with God is unique, because it really is a relationship, and it doesn't have to look like or work like anyone else's relationship with God. i am thankful that i stayed blinded to so many things that i would have worried and obsessed over unnecessarily. and i am so SO thankful that God has allowed me to have a wise perspective in these things now.
Titus 2:11-14 (ESV)
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, [12] training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, [13] waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, [14] who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
Romans 6:14 (ESV)
For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
1 Cor. 15:10 (ESV)
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.
2 Cor. 4:15 (ESV)
For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
2 Cor. 9:8 (ESV)
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.
Ephes. 2:8 (ESV)
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
1 Peter 1:13 (ESV)
Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 4:10 (ESV)
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:
1 Peter 5:10 (ESV)
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
2 Peter 3:18 (ESV)
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.
wow. "wrapped in grace".
i've had a few AMAZING conversations in the past week; they kind of shake up the world i thought i was living in, a bit. i realize i interact with people differently than i thought i did, i realize a few relationships are different than i thought they were. i realize i can stay out/up later than i thought and still exist (i got too much sleep in college and missed out on a lot of fun). i am ready to "move on" in my life and say goodbye to this chapter, but i am so scared that i will repeat it for another year, or more. i do realize that i have no idea what God has in store for my future, really, even if i think i do.
i applied for 2 jobs recently - one stateside, in one of 6 locations (DC, atlanta, norman, eugene OR, houston, east lansing MI), the other overseas (location not yet determined). i think i would LOVE either one, and i really really really hope to be offered at least one of them. if i get offered both, i'm not really sure which i would pick. but, oh God, please don't make me stay in VB.
on the other side of that, i am enjoying my relationship with my parents and the depths of relationship i am finally enjoying with my friends here. but i am also certain they are the kinds of friendships that will stay with me for a long time, no matter what continent i'm on. which is a good thing, since i hope to be on other continents within the next few years, even if the 2nd job doesn't come thru.
for the last week or so, i have felt "wrapped in grace". i'm not really sure i can describe that feeling, except to say it is a kind of culmination, or perhaps conglomeration, of a lot of different thoughts and experiences and lessons for a few years now. but let me tell you, it is one of the most secure feelings, despite circumstances and despite people (we all suck, sometimes, even when we don't mean to). i am so SO thankful to God for a number of things - things that He kept me out of and safe from when i couldn't understand why i wasn't "being let in on" them or when my own legalism and self-righteousness/superiority kept me away. i am thankful for some of the hardest seasons, when God proved to me, in the end (or more likely i couldn't see it until the end), His goodness, faithfulness and love for me. i am thankful that my relationship with God is unique, because it really is a relationship, and it doesn't have to look like or work like anyone else's relationship with God. i am thankful that i stayed blinded to so many things that i would have worried and obsessed over unnecessarily. and i am so SO thankful that God has allowed me to have a wise perspective in these things now.
Titus 2:11-14 (ESV)
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, [12] training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, [13] waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, [14] who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
Romans 6:14 (ESV)
For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
1 Cor. 15:10 (ESV)
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.
2 Cor. 4:15 (ESV)
For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
2 Cor. 9:8 (ESV)
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.
Ephes. 2:8 (ESV)
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
1 Peter 1:13 (ESV)
Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 4:10 (ESV)
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:
1 Peter 5:10 (ESV)
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
2 Peter 3:18 (ESV)
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.
wow. "wrapped in grace".
Monday, November 20, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
photos, finally!
pics of morocco can be found here
http://ou.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2090383&l=577fa&id=9605288
pics of italy and spain can be found here
http://ou.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2090171&l=80007&id=9605288
pics of the rest of europe (norway, sweeden, denmark, netherlands, belgium, germany, and switzerland) can be found here
http://ou.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2090148&l=85288&id=9605288
enjoy!
(for those of you who have been subjected already to the printed photos, these are the same ones.)
http://ou.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2090383&l=577fa&id=9605288
pics of italy and spain can be found here
http://ou.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2090171&l=80007&id=9605288
pics of the rest of europe (norway, sweeden, denmark, netherlands, belgium, germany, and switzerland) can be found here
http://ou.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2090148&l=85288&id=9605288
enjoy!
(for those of you who have been subjected already to the printed photos, these are the same ones.)
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
TX and OK
ahhhh... it is so great to visit with old friends! i have gotten to see and really talk with some old friends that are so near and dear to my heart. there are also many that i wish i could see, but without a car it's a little difficult.
so gabe gave us a tour of the new weather center. ah-maze-ing. that's what they mean when they say a "state of the art building". and luckily for me, and unluckily for them, both the seniors and grad students had a test monday, so they were all in the building studying on sunday. which worked well for my social schedule! fun times.
i also got to see a lot of people at rachel and chris's wedding on saturday. it was good times! and of course, the wedding was beautiful. it was really cool to see touches of rachel all thru the ceremony and reception.
out here at HGM, i've been able to catch up with some of my friends on staff, and get to meet some of this year's boot camp class. it has been way fun catching up on what everyone from our class is doing, since we all don't keep in touch with each other. and a lot of workers from all over the world are home right now, so it is cool to see them and get to know them better, too. but campus is crazy! not only is this the biggest class they've ever had (by about 15), with all the workers home, and classes being slack this (last) week, there are people everywhere, all the time. and so many are sick! it is hard to find a quiet place to hang out or have a private conversation. but it has been good.
i'll be flying home tomorrow... see you then!
so gabe gave us a tour of the new weather center. ah-maze-ing. that's what they mean when they say a "state of the art building". and luckily for me, and unluckily for them, both the seniors and grad students had a test monday, so they were all in the building studying on sunday. which worked well for my social schedule! fun times.
i also got to see a lot of people at rachel and chris's wedding on saturday. it was good times! and of course, the wedding was beautiful. it was really cool to see touches of rachel all thru the ceremony and reception.
out here at HGM, i've been able to catch up with some of my friends on staff, and get to meet some of this year's boot camp class. it has been way fun catching up on what everyone from our class is doing, since we all don't keep in touch with each other. and a lot of workers from all over the world are home right now, so it is cool to see them and get to know them better, too. but campus is crazy! not only is this the biggest class they've ever had (by about 15), with all the workers home, and classes being slack this (last) week, there are people everywhere, all the time. and so many are sick! it is hard to find a quiet place to hang out or have a private conversation. but it has been good.
i'll be flying home tomorrow... see you then!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
voting today
i'm not sure how to vote. even on the marriage amendment. and i am so ridiculously sick of all the political mud-slinging i have experienced in the 5 days i have been home. i have watched a bit of tv since being home, and i have yet to see a commercial that is FOR a candidate, and not against one. rex said he heard somewhere that their objective is to get you not to vote. it's working. i don't want to vote for any politician that has so little integrity that they allow their supporters to write ads like this, much less endorse and pay for them. it makes me sick.
so maybe i'll just vote on the other 2 amendments.
in other news, lunch with scott and my dad today. mexican. mmmmm. so excited. and i also plan to print some of my europe/morocco pics, too. eventually i'll upload them to a website so those of you i won't be seeing physically in the next 2 weeks can catch a glimpse of my travels. trust me, you just want a "glimpse" = 150-200 photos, not all = 4500. yeah... my little camera had quite a work out, and is showing worse for the wear!
i definitely owe a lot of people a long detailed "dianne-styled" email. but i'm hoping to see a lot of you in the next week as i go to texas and oklahoma, so if i don't see you and have a conversation face-to-face, i'll try to send ya one of those emails.
i'm going to texas and oklahoma!! somebody better give me a ride to rusty's!! mmmm... pumpkin custard. goodness in my mouth. can't wait!
so maybe i'll just vote on the other 2 amendments.
in other news, lunch with scott and my dad today. mexican. mmmmm. so excited. and i also plan to print some of my europe/morocco pics, too. eventually i'll upload them to a website so those of you i won't be seeing physically in the next 2 weeks can catch a glimpse of my travels. trust me, you just want a "glimpse" = 150-200 photos, not all = 4500. yeah... my little camera had quite a work out, and is showing worse for the wear!
i definitely owe a lot of people a long detailed "dianne-styled" email. but i'm hoping to see a lot of you in the next week as i go to texas and oklahoma, so if i don't see you and have a conversation face-to-face, i'll try to send ya one of those emails.
i'm going to texas and oklahoma!! somebody better give me a ride to rusty's!! mmmm... pumpkin custard. goodness in my mouth. can't wait!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
home... sort of
well, i am back in VA. thank you so much to all my friends and family who have welcomed me so well! i truly feel loved and am so blessed so much to know you all.
on the other hand, i don't want to be here. my heart is a mess and i don't expect it to be "put back together" anytime soon. rachel mentioned re-entry culture shock being much worse than she expected, and i guess that is the best way to describe what i am feeling. i feel myself slipping back into old habits from when i lived here before, even tho my thoughts and attitudes toward those actions have changed. for example, having lived out of a backpack for more than 2 months, i realize i don't need most of what i own. i am thankful to have my material possessions, but they shouldn't and don't own me. yet as i drove thru hilltop this afternoon, i was very tempted to go into target, just to see what they have that i might want, and possibly buy it.
one thing that is hard is that my favorite part of my trip was the last part... the backpacker's tour in morocco. i absolutely loved it and "came alive" in a sense... i loved the people in our group (even tho a few got on my nerves at times), especially the aussies ;-). i loved experiencing another culture so different from my own, and different from most of what i saw and experienced in europe. i loved travelling in a new way (africa! not quite as easy as europe...). i loved the food; it was probably the best i'd eaten my whole trip. i loved the sense of expectation every corner held, the beauty of just about every moment, the fullness of living life that i felt. i was basically in love with it all. (minus the unwanted advances of a few men.)
i know that life cannot be lived on a "high" like that trip was, but man, i want to try! i got up early my first morning home and went down to the beach for sunrise, and went jogging. it was amazing. it was sort of a continuation of "living life to the full" that i started thinking about 5 years ago. (remember, shane?)
so now i am here, sorting out what my life should and needs to look like. i am trying to figure out who i really am, and what i am really called to, and how to love living this life, and not just "get through" it, as i had basically been doing before i left. and yes, some seasons will be hard and worse than others, and i don't expect to be living the dream life forever, but man, something out there has to be better than the existence i was eeking out before.
now i just have to figure out what that is.
on the other hand, i don't want to be here. my heart is a mess and i don't expect it to be "put back together" anytime soon. rachel mentioned re-entry culture shock being much worse than she expected, and i guess that is the best way to describe what i am feeling. i feel myself slipping back into old habits from when i lived here before, even tho my thoughts and attitudes toward those actions have changed. for example, having lived out of a backpack for more than 2 months, i realize i don't need most of what i own. i am thankful to have my material possessions, but they shouldn't and don't own me. yet as i drove thru hilltop this afternoon, i was very tempted to go into target, just to see what they have that i might want, and possibly buy it.
one thing that is hard is that my favorite part of my trip was the last part... the backpacker's tour in morocco. i absolutely loved it and "came alive" in a sense... i loved the people in our group (even tho a few got on my nerves at times), especially the aussies ;-). i loved experiencing another culture so different from my own, and different from most of what i saw and experienced in europe. i loved travelling in a new way (africa! not quite as easy as europe...). i loved the food; it was probably the best i'd eaten my whole trip. i loved the sense of expectation every corner held, the beauty of just about every moment, the fullness of living life that i felt. i was basically in love with it all. (minus the unwanted advances of a few men.)
i know that life cannot be lived on a "high" like that trip was, but man, i want to try! i got up early my first morning home and went down to the beach for sunrise, and went jogging. it was amazing. it was sort of a continuation of "living life to the full" that i started thinking about 5 years ago. (remember, shane?)
so now i am here, sorting out what my life should and needs to look like. i am trying to figure out who i really am, and what i am really called to, and how to love living this life, and not just "get through" it, as i had basically been doing before i left. and yes, some seasons will be hard and worse than others, and i don't expect to be living the dream life forever, but man, something out there has to be better than the existence i was eeking out before.
now i just have to figure out what that is.
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