Lost the plot

I kind of lost my vision for why I was writing this blog. So I just didn't write for a long time. And I'm not sure where to go from here, so it's just my ramblings, which is actually quite easily described by "my journey in heart and space", so it all fits, in the end.

Today, I saw the (beautiful and amazing!) wedding photos of a girl who was an elementary school camper when I was a counselor for church camp. I felt a) old and b) very single. Ouch.

Tonight, I went to the going away party of a couple (and their kids) who I got to know fairly well as part of my cohort group the 2 years I was in school. One of the options they are looking into is to join a c-planting team in northern India. My heart leapt into my throat! A flame sparked that has been hidden for a long time.

I went on a road trip with Judy last week. Judy's pretty quiet, and she told me from the get-go not to expect her to talk that much. I was happy to chat enough for the both of us the first few days, but by the last 2 days, driving over half of our 1724 miles, I started projecting onto her my own reasons for silence. I clam up when I'm hurt, annoyed, angry, or irritable. So I started wondering if Judy felt like that, and I had to remind myself that she wasn't mad, she's just quiet. She actually can and will be pretty forthright and honest when something isn't right, and I had to trust that she would have communicated something to me if I had offended her. (Right, Judy, if you're reading this?!) So it was a good self-awareness lesson.

I am now working (and have been for over 8 months) for a large, international, Christian, non-profit organization. About half our budget comes from child sponsorship (where a person sends in $35/month to sponsor a kid from an impoverished country and keeps his/her photo on his fridge). I like my job, to a large degree, but it's definitely a stepping stone to something else. Trouble is, I don't exactly know what that "something else" is. I do know I plan to live overseas in the future, hopefully doing more on-the-ground project management-type stuff. But my current position as an admin assistant isn't specifically going to open the doors that direction, so perhaps there are a few more steps between here and there. We shall see.

I'm going home for a few days in August. My sister, brother-in-law, and my new niece will be there! I'm excited to see them all, and of course my parents and cat, too. I also am looking forward to reconnecting with old friends, one in particular that has been a bit of a rocky relationship in the past year. We'll see if that person makes time to see me or not. But at least the beach will be there! And a NIECE!!