do you trust me?

curry makes everything better. *sigh*

it's finally caught up to me. what? everything. i'm tired, from the inside out. i've definitely been getting enough sleep, but i'm exhausted almost constantly. granted, i do enough to wear me out well, but all the change....

i hung out last night with some friends from a group i was in last quarter, and it was bittersweet. it was SO nice to be around people that i don't have to get to know all over again, who know me. not that we're all best friends, but i don't have to constantly explain myself around them. it was nice to just relax a bit and let my guard down.

at the same time, i feel like a different person than i was then. and that's a good thing. i'm SO thankful that i'm not the same person i was then, that i'm not dealing with the things now that i was then. SO glad. so it was a good thing, a good time with good people.

we FINALLY have a manager at work! but i have to be on my best behavior and present myself well. i've been afraid it would be like jim in "the office" recently - being misunderstood by the new boss and not looking good. i know i'm a good worker, but i also know my relational IQ is lower than average, so i have to constantly backtrack and explain myself. i don't mean to sound the way things come out sometimes, and it's exhausting to constantly have to have my guard up.

the new manager will be fine, i'm sure. so far so, good. she's nice, even if making the schedule will be tough for a while. that will come easier as she does it every week and gets to know us, i'm sure.

but i still don't trust new people, especially those in authority. so it's going to be interesting.

i've been wanting to watch the "Ocean's" trilogy for a while, particularly 12, i think.

with a new quarter comes new group work. which is exhausting. it's going to be stretching, for sure, but good.

i went down to pico union last night for andy's birthday carne asada cookout. YUMMY. it was really fun to see his neighborhood and his housemates and church friends. it's pretty cool down there. and thanks to kyle and lahela, who let me borrow their car! and kevin kept me company on the drive down there, good times.

i've had a hard time relating to another guy at work. i think i need to talk to him, but i'll wait until i'm not mad at him anymore. i think that would be smart.

there's more transitions, but i don't want to ruin the surprises for friends that are involved. and it's tough for me... i don't like change when things are fine the way they are, and i don't like it when it seems unnecessary or affects me negatively. but life IS change... i guess i'd better get used to that. even though it sucks sometimes. i'm so selfish!

we'll see where the quarter goes from here...

so the question God whispers in my ear, from one season to the next (whether i like it or not), is "do you trust Me?"

and yet again, i think i do, but i'm not sure.