restless, again...

in the last 36 hours, i've become incredibly restless again.

partially because i'm tired of this season of life. this time, however, i recognize that it is because i don't want to be in the refining fire anymore. there are a couple things in my personality that in many ways are huge plusses, if kept in check. which is a big "if" for me. and because of my personality, don't WANT to do. but that is (at least part of) the reason for this season of where i work and who i hang out with. well, the people around me in general.

part of my restlessness is that i've never done the same thing for more than 6 months. that is, what i do for a majority of my week. (i've been involved in some groups and activities that happened once or twice a week, max, for years on end. but those things don't ever constitute most of my day). not since high school. college semesters were 4-5 months, summers were 2-4 months, BFBC was 5 months, worked in a school for 5 months, a law office for 2 months, traveled for 2 months, subbed for 3 more months, and now i've been at the bux for almost 8 months. i may have mentioned this before, but it's kinda huge for me. that's mostly because i get bored with whatever it is i'm doing (and as for semesters, let's just say i'm SO glad college works on the semester (or quarter).

have i mentioned that i don't always do well with people? i LOVE quality time with people i love, and i will get lonely if i'm by myself for more than a day or 2 at a time. but in close quarters, i get sick of people pretty quickly. i'm sure some of that is based on being raised as an only child. my sisters are 8 and 10 years older than me, so i never really had to learn to share with them. (and they didn't really have to share with me, which is why my sister is so messy in the bathroom when she comes to visit!) my patience doesn't last very long.

i know that eventually, when i live in another country, i will have to get over these things. there will be millions of people who don't believe in personal space, or being alone, or introverts. so if i learn to get over these things now, all the better. ugh. another uphill battle.

i've also been restless because i got the latest issue of national geographic adventure. there are so many amazing pictures of places i'd love to see, so many awesome people doing inspiring things, and too many cool places to experience. another cool thing is that i know (ok, i've met) one of the guys highlighted in this month's issue, tim cope. his dad (andrew cope) taught my "experiencing the australian landscape" (aka "camping for credit") class when i spent a semester in australia. his dad talked about his son some, and tim came to class one day and shared about his biggest trip by that point, riding a bike from the eastern side of russia across siberia and mongolia to china. he then talked about being an expedition leader on tourist trips to antarctica, and then rowing a row boat 4500km across siberia to the arctic ocean. he talked about his dream, which apparently he has nearly finished... riding a horse on the route genghis khan took. from mongolia to hungary. for serious. pretty ridiculous, right? wow.

i've taken to saving photos that inspire me, that i aspire to see in person one day. so far, i've got a photo of camping somewhere in alaska (i'm sure it says, but i can't remember and can't be bothered to go get it out) and an ad for a tour company that shows a group of about 12 in a zodiac next to an orca's fin in the water. perhaps both of them will be accomplished the same trip? it's kind of funny. prior to 14 months ago, i had zero ambition to see alaska. some friends of mine honeymooned there, and i thought they were crazy (if you're reading this, sorry! ;-)). now i know they had the right idea! i think seeing the fjords of norway and realizing there is similar scenery in my own country led me to this place. now it's on my list of top destinations. perhaps the show "men in trees" has kept this dream near the top of my list (tho i think it's filmed in canada). ;-)