life....

so, lots going on, but it's hard to say.

i got a promotion at work. i'll be a "shift supervisor" soon, which is quite a stretch for my people skills. it will be quite stressful for a while as i learn new responsibilities and learn (hopefully) how to not be so blunt and be more kind and gentle in all my conversation, especially when i really want to say, "you stupid! how could you get that wrong! it's your job to do it right!" ;-) so your prayers would be appreciated. :-P oh God, oh God, HELP!!!

on a different, more heavy, note, i am a completely selfish jerk. to make a long story short (and to hopefully not offend as many who might make it to this page), i have no faith. someone i know died this weekend, and her family and close friends are praying for her to be resurrected. it's quite ironic, at community group last week, we talked about people having (or not having) faith to raise someone from the dead. we all agreed, of course, that Jesus was raised from the dead, and that God clearly has raised many others from the dead, but varying levels of faith were present in the room for if God would do it this day and age in america. i have much more faith for it happening in a third world country, but not necessarily in suburban virginia. i'm sorry, i just don't think she will rise. and my heart aches terribly for her family and friends, but in a way, almost more so because they really believe she will walk again. it's a terrible, mortifying, shameful, honest thing to say. i mostly just think they are setting themselves up for even more disappointment and heartache. i also know that a good chunk of that is my own heartbreak for things in my own life i knew God would do, but didn't. i don't want them to experience the same thing i felt. so i know i don't have as much faith as i could/should and once did. so i know i'm in the wrong on that one. and i know it's entirely possible to walk away with more faith, even if she doesn't rise from the dead. one friend of mine has said this happened to her, and i'm quite happy for her! oh, how wretched my own heart is! part of my own inner turmoil is there may be another prayer meeting tonite, but a group of us are having a birthday party for someone else. of the 5 of us, 2 would leave to go to the prayer meeting, and i don't want them to. i'm that selfish and unbelieving. i don't know what will happen, or if they will have a meeting tonite, or if the girl will be resurrected. but man, i am writhing at the state of my own heart.

moving on...
my friends aaron and laura are coming to VA next week!!! i'm SO excited to see them! they are 2 crazy fools, said with the most love and admiration and jealousy possible! they have a website, 50bybike.com, if you are interested in more of their story. and yes, that's 50, as in all 50 states, by bike. cool, huh? they are coming up thru the center of the state, so i am going to charlottesville to meet them and hang out for a day or 2 before they pedal on to west va. i am so excited to see my friends and hear a few stories and show them my state! yay!!!!

ok, i think that's about it for the moment. thanks for reading!