dianne rebels.

today has been good, but exceedingly frustrating. when i actually disciplined myself to sit down and work, it didn't go as planned and i got hardly anything done today. i did have some great conversations (thanks aaron, tiffany, and shannon!), but man, school work just didn't happen.

as i sit here now, trying to swallow so much jargon and theological terminology, i am forced to look up a word in my handy-dandy "pocket dictionary of theological terms." yes, this is one of the 2 books that i spent my tip money on. with each entry, there's another term i don't understand, so then i look that word up. and guess what? then there's another word i don't quite get. so eight words later, i finally give up because i don't even remember the word i started with.

so i sigh and try to go back to reading. and realize that i won't really understand much of what i'm reading, anyway, because i don't have a framework for it, or the background knowledge that's really needed to be able to analyze the texts very well. so i just resign myself to the fact that there will always be more reading that i need to do to fully grasp these concepts.

and i rebel. i don't want to become a theologian. i don't want to be an academic, i don't want to get a phd or even mdiv. really, i just want the practical stuff. what does it mean for us today? what does it mean for the unreached world? how can i apply this concept to a ministry situation? what is a holistic view of this concept? and really, what does the Bible say? i don't want your opinions. i want to know what Scripture says in this area, then i'll take your interpretation of it. but i'm so frustrated with all the philosophical, heady, intellectual conversations. let's bring it down to reality: how do these things really play out? how have you seen this in action in malaysia? papua new guinea? el salvador? iran?

that's why i'm here.