#222

i have no words.

i talk a lot because i dance around some concept that i can't explain.

i have no words to describe the deepest longings of my heart, the impressions that certain lectures leave with me, the delights of an honest conversation. i have no words for these things that mean more to me than words themselves.

i find myself in conversations where i've long since lost the interest of the person dutifully listening, where i keep talking around some idea that i simply cannot find the words to express. sometimes i can get enough across to make sense of what i'm thinking and feeling. other times i simply frustrate myself and bore the other person.

one class i took this summer was "advocating for social justice". i feel completely at odds with the class. i hated taking it, it was quite a downer. there were definitely some good points, i'm sure i learned more than i think i did. but it was really hard. it was kind of like asking "what's the single greatest atrocity that exists today?" and hearing the answer 20 times over in every circumstance and situation and country possible. and there weren't many solutions offered, much to my dismay.

it seems like the two responses are to write your congressman, or devote your life to a cause.

i would LOVE to devote my life to a cause, i just can't pick only one!

i just watched a stirring video clip of a girl who is a teacher in nyc. she is definitely living her passion and her destiny, and it's quite inspiring - it kind of resonates deep within me in a "YYYESSSSS!" moment (one of those i don't have the real words to describe). that, to me, was a beautiful piece of advocacy.

i have to write a paper in the next few weeks on how to advocate for a specific issue to a church. i just have no idea where to start, what topic to delve into, or how to accomplish it. i see SO many needs that i am overwhelmed. i feel completely unequipped to effectively advocate for anything.

it leaves me thankful for the artsy types who can make a short video like that which is successful in reaching its audience.

i just have no idea how to do that.

i have no words.