hypocrisy

i am quite a good hypocrite when i want to be, when it's convenient for me. and that's even the nature of my hypocrisy.

i see that my generation is very consumeristic and me-centered. we generally are just looking out for number 1. whatever is convenient for me, meets my needs, sounds fun to me, that's what i'll do. don't ask me to give of myself, don't ask me to commit and stick it out when it's hard and ugly. don't ask me to show up when i don't feel like it.

i don't "receive well" from the leadership at that church, so i'll show up on occasion to hang out with my friends that attend there, but don't ask me to get involved, or even commit to showing up every week. i'll go when it's convenient for me.

i don't like some of the people that are involved at that ministry, so i'll show up and only talk to my friends that i already have. don't expect me to go out of my way to love people by just having a friendly conversation.

i don't think that activity is very fun, so even tho this ministry that i'm involved in is planning that activity as part of the fellowship of that ministry, i won't go. fellowship when it isn't fun is not worth it to me.

i'll show up at this Bible study because i like the theological discussions, but i don't want to open up about what is really going on inside my heart. don't expect me to be vulnerable and open, that's not what i do.

i feel like sleeping in today, so i won't go to church. i feel like watching tv tonight, so i won't go to Bible study. i would rather play on facebook than go serve dinner at the homeless shelter when it's my church's night (just once this month) to serve.


Matthew 16:24 (ESV)
Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."


Jesus, forgive me.