grace enough.

as you know, i'm not perfect. :-P

i've had a couple more-honest-than-i-really-want-to-be moments recently, and i'm a little embarrassed by them. i feel like i should be making a face like the one brad pitt makes in ocean's 12 when he realizes his phone was stolen by his ex-girlfriend-cop (catherine zeta-jones) when she came to the apartment, which now nixes the team's entire plan. it's a bit like an "ouch" face mixed with disbelief and a twinge of regret. yeah, that face.

anyway, in my head tonight, i am making that face and apologizing to a friend that i have recently treated poorly. in this made-up conversation, said friend (knowing why i behaved the way i did) pushes me a bit to the deeper issue of my heart, kindly and gently not letting me off the hook.

and my response is something like, "God is good. and i'm slowly working through this deeper issue in my heart. i am slowly healing, forgiving, and finding forgiveness. but i'm a girl with a dash of crazy. this is just a process that takes time. and for the first time, i don't imagine God standing there with His arms crossed, tapping His foot saying, 'come on, dianne, time to get your act together.' for once, i feel like i don't have to responsibly smother the crazy to get it 'right.' i feel like God gets that crazy side of me and it's ok, at least for now. it's part of me that definitely requires training, but it isn't going away overnight, and He's ok with that, and He loves me and has grace for me even now."

and so, for tonight, that's enough. God is good, and His grace is enough for me.