scared.

i am scared. i am excited, but mostly scared.

my assignments this quarter are a bit overwhelming to me. not because i feel they ask too much of me (academically or time-wise), but because they touch something deep within my heart.

A. for my "Christian Ethics" class, the paper i'm working on now is essentially defining my beliefs about justice and righteousness. these two words have stood out to me in my own personal readings of the Bible for a couple years now. they almost haunt me with their bigness, boldness, ever-presence and unattainability. (yes i probably just made that word up.) i learned in my OT Prophets class that the 2 Hebrew words for justice and righteousness, tsedeqah and mishpat, do a little dance. they go together in many OT passages, each complementing the other. our english words for them don't really fully explain their real meaning. they are so full of meaning that i am in awe, especially if we, as Christians, are required/responsible/help to bring the meaning of these words into reality. it's completely overwhelming and yet so beautiful. it is certainly part of my life's call to engender these words and bring justice and righteousness to the earth.

in Stassen and Gushee's book Kingdom Ethics, they outline "justice" in four dimensions.
“(1) deliverance of the poor and powerless from the injustice that they regularly experience;
(2) lifting the foot of domineering power off the neck of the dominated and oppressed;
(3) stopping the violence and establishing peace; and
(4) restoring the outcasts, the excluded, the Gentiles, the exiles and the refugees to community.” (349)

i would abosolutely love it if at the end of my life, someone could say these are things i have worked towards.

to even say that is a little scary! it's a little mind-boggling and overwhelming to actually say, yes, this is what i want my life to look like.

the assignment i'm working on is essentially defining these terms, putting them into language a new believer in my church would understand (cutting out all the "seminary" words), and applying these concepts to the juvenile justice system in place in LA today. we watched a documentary called Juvies and are now asked to respond, in light of our theological understanding of justice/righteousness. wow.


B. the other assignment for this class that i have left to complete is to volunteer for 5 hours and write an analysis of how the organization is living out Christian mission. i have been volunteering at IRIS - Interfaith Refugee and Immigration Services, and i LOVE it. i've been leading a "life group" from my church, and the whole purpose of our group is to serve. we show up at IRIS on friday mornings, serve coffee to refugees, unload a truck with canned goods and produce, bag the food, and distribute it to the 100+ people who come every week. it's typical food-bank type stuff, but this is an organization that is really doing something. i am trying to work out a way to work with them for at least part of my required practicum.

let me tell you, these guys are the real deal. they are actively reaching out to refugees - Iraqis fleeing the war, Armenian Christians fleeing persecution in Iran, etc. i am definitely excited to hear more of their stories. the more i learn about the plight of refugees - these and all across the globe, the more i want to serve them, work with them, restore them.

C. i took an incomplete this summer in my advocacy class, and my last assignment is the only one i have to complete. but it is essentially choosing an issue to advocate for, research it theologically and historically within different church traditions (Catholic, Anabaptist, Evangelical), and create an action plan for a congregation. if you couldn't guess, i think i've found a legitimate topic! and i'm already "doing" the action plan! so i'm really excited about it, but also really scared! i don't want to be graded on something i'm already committed to. i wish my life experience were proof enough that i learned something in the advocacy class! i don't want to have to write a paper on it, too!

so yeah, a lot of stuff close to my heart that seems overwhelming. but i'm excited.