my computer
wifi in class
rain
chacos
plastic spoons
U2
my job
the office
maps
norwegian friends
health
chapstick
an oven
chocolate!
tina fey as sarah palin
charlie hall
shampoo
keens
target within walking distance
airplanes
other countries to visit
the minimal spanish i know
smiles and laughter
cell phones
paul bettany
instant message, skype, and email
radar
tv on the internet
the Holy Spirit
thai food
diet dr pepper
the ocean
hiking
the mountains
house church
thursday am prayer
my 3 asian groupmates
small world connections
australian accents
being on facebook in class
sleep
coffeemate
chocolate and mint together
jack johnson
pizza
long walks and talks, whether in person or on the phone
care packages from my girls
chairs
honest conversations
friends all over the world
thunderstorms
the color blue
chex bars
itunes
national parks
blogs
linear thinking
fog
decentralized (non)institutions
chick-fil-a
dancing
good books
curly hair
zephyr's
that i don't live in eastern europe
thundersnow
clouds on the mountains
digital cameras
morocco
longsleeve t-shirts
hope
windows that open
naps
pdf's
and pfd's
kayaking!
did i mention chocolate yet?
moose!!!!!
contacts
time
panera
coffee tumblers
eucalyptus trees
confused flowers that bloom in the winter
friends with cars who drive me places
imdb
rocks big enough to climb around on
the sound of rain on the roof
fun neighbors
seasons
in-n-out burger
rusty's custard
photography
sunsets and sunrises
jackie
hoodies
and of course, all my friends and family!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
remember, ponder, ask of God
something happened the other day (tho i really can't remember what) that made me think about the times that God has spoken clearly to me.
there's the one time i literally heard the voice of God. i was in college, my senior year, living in parkview. i had stayed up late working on a presentation i had to give for class that i dreaded. i overslept somehow, and as clear as day, i heard my name. just "dianne." only it was prasha's voice. and prasha is nepali and doesn't say my name quite the same way as anyone else. but of course, prasha wasn't there. and i knew immediately it was God that had spoken my name to wake me up.
i was thinking of several things that God spoke clearly to my heart while i was in europe. many of them i have associated with a hike i went on in norway, but when i looked back at my journal, they happened over the course of a few weeks, not a few hours on the side of a mountain. one of those was me wanting to get a dog. and i quickly and immediately knew in my heart that i couldn't because i wouldn't be in america long enough to take care of it.
i look back on the first few weeks of my trip and am thankful for the lessons i learned. and even moreso, i am thankful for the time i had with Jesus. i was completely dependent on Him (like in Goteborg, sweeden - look at the archives of my blog), and i was desperate for Him. i needed answers to the things my heart questioned. tho it is funny... the 5 questions that i had written out and asked God to answer, not one of them was answered on the trip. a few were answered in coming months, once i returned, but some are just starting to arise again right now.
it's funny that God answers prayers in ways that are so completely different. for some of those questions, it just seemed like the way God answered them was to just set them aside. i didn't really need those answers. but He did answer other prayers, questions i didn't even know i was asking until He answered them. others were a clear "no", but He gave me the option and let me decide for myself that i didn't really want what i was asking for (like earlier this week).
so for now, i wonder what questions my heart is asking that i don't even know about. i wonder what questions i do have that i am asking the wrong question about. i wonder what questions God will clearly answer.
i wonder what i will look back upon and see that God spoke so clearly about.
there's the one time i literally heard the voice of God. i was in college, my senior year, living in parkview. i had stayed up late working on a presentation i had to give for class that i dreaded. i overslept somehow, and as clear as day, i heard my name. just "dianne." only it was prasha's voice. and prasha is nepali and doesn't say my name quite the same way as anyone else. but of course, prasha wasn't there. and i knew immediately it was God that had spoken my name to wake me up.
i was thinking of several things that God spoke clearly to my heart while i was in europe. many of them i have associated with a hike i went on in norway, but when i looked back at my journal, they happened over the course of a few weeks, not a few hours on the side of a mountain. one of those was me wanting to get a dog. and i quickly and immediately knew in my heart that i couldn't because i wouldn't be in america long enough to take care of it.
i look back on the first few weeks of my trip and am thankful for the lessons i learned. and even moreso, i am thankful for the time i had with Jesus. i was completely dependent on Him (like in Goteborg, sweeden - look at the archives of my blog), and i was desperate for Him. i needed answers to the things my heart questioned. tho it is funny... the 5 questions that i had written out and asked God to answer, not one of them was answered on the trip. a few were answered in coming months, once i returned, but some are just starting to arise again right now.
it's funny that God answers prayers in ways that are so completely different. for some of those questions, it just seemed like the way God answered them was to just set them aside. i didn't really need those answers. but He did answer other prayers, questions i didn't even know i was asking until He answered them. others were a clear "no", but He gave me the option and let me decide for myself that i didn't really want what i was asking for (like earlier this week).
so for now, i wonder what questions my heart is asking that i don't even know about. i wonder what questions i do have that i am asking the wrong question about. i wonder what questions God will clearly answer.
i wonder what i will look back upon and see that God spoke so clearly about.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
i sometimes just have to laugh.
man, God is so crazy sometimes!!
ok, so my post yesterday was me complaining about what i lack in the face of all that God has so richly, abundantly provided for me. at Bible study last night and at cohort this morning, we talked about John 6, where Jesus feeds 5000 people. He didn't need to, He just did it out of His own extravagance and abundance. and not only did He feed them, but 12 (TWELVE!) baskets of food were left over!! at Bible study, the application was "what extravagant thing will God do for me this week?" we also discussed how Jesus asked phillip to feed the people, but he clearly didn't know how. so the other application question was "what impossible thing is God calling me to do that i have to let Him do?"
at cohort, my thought was that even tho they only had 5 loaves and 2 fish, Jesus still gave thanks for it. it was afterward that it was multiplied. so what small things do i have that i can offer thanks for, that God can use in huge ways?
well, as discussed yesterday, i have HUGE things to be thankful for, and i am so grateful to be here to learn and do the things i am. so even as i feel i'm lacking in some ways, i do have SOMETHING to be thankful for. i wish i had more, but i should be (and am) grateful for half-fulfillment of these things.
i walked into my class this afternoon, and it's held in the same room that chapel is held in earlier in the day. i don't usually go to chapel, and i'd never see a "program" or whatever for it, so i saw one on a bench and looked over it. yup, psalm 103:1-5 was printed on the back. true story.
ok, God, i get it! i will bless You for all you are and do in my life!
this is really where the funny part comes in, and as i thought about it tonite, i realize this is the 2nd time God has done this to me. so in a weird way, God kind of dangled before me what i thought i was lacking. and i DEFINITELY don't want it anymore!! i mean, i am sure that i will want it again later, but man, NOT NOW!! (the first time, i was in europe, and God clearly spoke to me just once and it settled the matter for the next 2 years.)
and so i laugh at God. or is it with God...?
ok, so my post yesterday was me complaining about what i lack in the face of all that God has so richly, abundantly provided for me. at Bible study last night and at cohort this morning, we talked about John 6, where Jesus feeds 5000 people. He didn't need to, He just did it out of His own extravagance and abundance. and not only did He feed them, but 12 (TWELVE!) baskets of food were left over!! at Bible study, the application was "what extravagant thing will God do for me this week?" we also discussed how Jesus asked phillip to feed the people, but he clearly didn't know how. so the other application question was "what impossible thing is God calling me to do that i have to let Him do?"
at cohort, my thought was that even tho they only had 5 loaves and 2 fish, Jesus still gave thanks for it. it was afterward that it was multiplied. so what small things do i have that i can offer thanks for, that God can use in huge ways?
well, as discussed yesterday, i have HUGE things to be thankful for, and i am so grateful to be here to learn and do the things i am. so even as i feel i'm lacking in some ways, i do have SOMETHING to be thankful for. i wish i had more, but i should be (and am) grateful for half-fulfillment of these things.
i walked into my class this afternoon, and it's held in the same room that chapel is held in earlier in the day. i don't usually go to chapel, and i'd never see a "program" or whatever for it, so i saw one on a bench and looked over it. yup, psalm 103:1-5 was printed on the back. true story.
ok, God, i get it! i will bless You for all you are and do in my life!
this is really where the funny part comes in, and as i thought about it tonite, i realize this is the 2nd time God has done this to me. so in a weird way, God kind of dangled before me what i thought i was lacking. and i DEFINITELY don't want it anymore!! i mean, i am sure that i will want it again later, but man, NOT NOW!! (the first time, i was in europe, and God clearly spoke to me just once and it settled the matter for the next 2 years.)
and so i laugh at God. or is it with God...?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
i trust in You
Hillsong "Healer":
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
I trust in You
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands
i awoke with this song in my head this morning. i learned it 2 weeks ago, i think, when we were praying over my friend who is seriously sick. it has different meaning for me, and i'm thankful for it (and itunes).
psalm 103:1-5
bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless His holy name!
bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all His benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
God has been SO good to me! i have had the opportunity the past few days to tell of His goodness, to think back upon the past 2 months that i've been here, as well as the past 7 years (my most significant growth in Christ in my life).
my life here is more than i could have asked for. i enjoy it immensely and am learning things i had never considered.
yet i long for more. my desires are selfish, like i am somehow entitled to more. instead of being thankful for the incredible abundance, i am constantly wrestling with what i don't have right now. i don't want to be fighting this battle, but like my roommate said last nite, if i don't struggle with it - keep laying it down (and then pick it up again) - it will only become a huge monster that overtakes my life. it already overtakes more of my thoughts and energy than i can really admit, and i'm so ashamed.
so for now, i say that Jesus, i trust in You. You are more than enough for me, You're all i need. i will bless You, i will not forget Your benefits: Your salvation, Your forgiveness, Your healing, Your redemption, Your steadfast love and mercy, Your goodness to me in every way conceivable, even in what i think i lack.
i trust in You.
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
I trust in You
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands
i awoke with this song in my head this morning. i learned it 2 weeks ago, i think, when we were praying over my friend who is seriously sick. it has different meaning for me, and i'm thankful for it (and itunes).
psalm 103:1-5
bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless His holy name!
bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all His benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
God has been SO good to me! i have had the opportunity the past few days to tell of His goodness, to think back upon the past 2 months that i've been here, as well as the past 7 years (my most significant growth in Christ in my life).
my life here is more than i could have asked for. i enjoy it immensely and am learning things i had never considered.
yet i long for more. my desires are selfish, like i am somehow entitled to more. instead of being thankful for the incredible abundance, i am constantly wrestling with what i don't have right now. i don't want to be fighting this battle, but like my roommate said last nite, if i don't struggle with it - keep laying it down (and then pick it up again) - it will only become a huge monster that overtakes my life. it already overtakes more of my thoughts and energy than i can really admit, and i'm so ashamed.
so for now, i say that Jesus, i trust in You. You are more than enough for me, You're all i need. i will bless You, i will not forget Your benefits: Your salvation, Your forgiveness, Your healing, Your redemption, Your steadfast love and mercy, Your goodness to me in every way conceivable, even in what i think i lack.
i trust in You.
Monday, November 17, 2008
a glimpse of light in the darkness of studies
i'm sick of schoolwork, in so many ways. mainly i just get frustrated by assignments that have no meaning to me, like required readings that are full of long, big, stupid words and that have no relevance to either my assignment or the class discussions.
but occasionally (ok, most of the time) i come across something that makes sense.
"Perception of this unbreakable link between justice and love is a step toward recognition of the utter freedom of God who cannot be shackled by anything, not even by our ethics and theologies of justice, but can be encountered only within the practice of justice and loving relationships. That means concern for justice will unfold into contemplation of God's gratuitous love adn abounding tenderness, which provide justice with its true horizons, reference points, and depths of meaning. The justice of God is God's love that gives and forgives endlessly. Among such gifts are opportunities and challenges, at times painful and mysterious, to grow to the Everest possibilities of the human heart--opportunities of the kind offered to Job and Jesus."
-Samuel Rayan, "Wrestling in the Night"
something to chew on, eh?
but occasionally (ok, most of the time) i come across something that makes sense.
"Perception of this unbreakable link between justice and love is a step toward recognition of the utter freedom of God who cannot be shackled by anything, not even by our ethics and theologies of justice, but can be encountered only within the practice of justice and loving relationships. That means concern for justice will unfold into contemplation of God's gratuitous love adn abounding tenderness, which provide justice with its true horizons, reference points, and depths of meaning. The justice of God is God's love that gives and forgives endlessly. Among such gifts are opportunities and challenges, at times painful and mysterious, to grow to the Everest possibilities of the human heart--opportunities of the kind offered to Job and Jesus."
-Samuel Rayan, "Wrestling in the Night"
something to chew on, eh?
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