i sometimes just have to laugh.

man, God is so crazy sometimes!!

ok, so my post yesterday was me complaining about what i lack in the face of all that God has so richly, abundantly provided for me. at Bible study last night and at cohort this morning, we talked about John 6, where Jesus feeds 5000 people. He didn't need to, He just did it out of His own extravagance and abundance. and not only did He feed them, but 12 (TWELVE!) baskets of food were left over!! at Bible study, the application was "what extravagant thing will God do for me this week?" we also discussed how Jesus asked phillip to feed the people, but he clearly didn't know how. so the other application question was "what impossible thing is God calling me to do that i have to let Him do?"

at cohort, my thought was that even tho they only had 5 loaves and 2 fish, Jesus still gave thanks for it. it was afterward that it was multiplied. so what small things do i have that i can offer thanks for, that God can use in huge ways?

well, as discussed yesterday, i have HUGE things to be thankful for, and i am so grateful to be here to learn and do the things i am. so even as i feel i'm lacking in some ways, i do have SOMETHING to be thankful for. i wish i had more, but i should be (and am) grateful for half-fulfillment of these things.

i walked into my class this afternoon, and it's held in the same room that chapel is held in earlier in the day. i don't usually go to chapel, and i'd never see a "program" or whatever for it, so i saw one on a bench and looked over it. yup, psalm 103:1-5 was printed on the back. true story.

ok, God, i get it! i will bless You for all you are and do in my life!

this is really where the funny part comes in, and as i thought about it tonite, i realize this is the 2nd time God has done this to me. so in a weird way, God kind of dangled before me what i thought i was lacking. and i DEFINITELY don't want it anymore!! i mean, i am sure that i will want it again later, but man, NOT NOW!! (the first time, i was in europe, and God clearly spoke to me just once and it settled the matter for the next 2 years.)

and so i laugh at God. or is it with God...?