remember, ponder, ask of God

something happened the other day (tho i really can't remember what) that made me think about the times that God has spoken clearly to me.

there's the one time i literally heard the voice of God. i was in college, my senior year, living in parkview. i had stayed up late working on a presentation i had to give for class that i dreaded. i overslept somehow, and as clear as day, i heard my name. just "dianne." only it was prasha's voice. and prasha is nepali and doesn't say my name quite the same way as anyone else. but of course, prasha wasn't there. and i knew immediately it was God that had spoken my name to wake me up.

i was thinking of several things that God spoke clearly to my heart while i was in europe. many of them i have associated with a hike i went on in norway, but when i looked back at my journal, they happened over the course of a few weeks, not a few hours on the side of a mountain. one of those was me wanting to get a dog. and i quickly and immediately knew in my heart that i couldn't because i wouldn't be in america long enough to take care of it.

i look back on the first few weeks of my trip and am thankful for the lessons i learned. and even moreso, i am thankful for the time i had with Jesus. i was completely dependent on Him (like in Goteborg, sweeden - look at the archives of my blog), and i was desperate for Him. i needed answers to the things my heart questioned. tho it is funny... the 5 questions that i had written out and asked God to answer, not one of them was answered on the trip. a few were answered in coming months, once i returned, but some are just starting to arise again right now.

it's funny that God answers prayers in ways that are so completely different. for some of those questions, it just seemed like the way God answered them was to just set them aside. i didn't really need those answers. but He did answer other prayers, questions i didn't even know i was asking until He answered them. others were a clear "no", but He gave me the option and let me decide for myself that i didn't really want what i was asking for (like earlier this week).

so for now, i wonder what questions my heart is asking that i don't even know about. i wonder what questions i do have that i am asking the wrong question about. i wonder what questions God will clearly answer.

i wonder what i will look back upon and see that God spoke so clearly about.